Surviving Switzerland

an expat's experiences navigating the land of mountains, cheese and chocolate

Gearing up for summer travel: the restaurant experience

on June 11, 2014

DSC00619I love going out to eat in the States. The food is great and restaurants are organized; the people working there have a plan for getting you in, getting you your meal and getting you out as fast as possible and all this with free perky smiles and refills on most drinks.

I used to love eating out in the States much more than I do now, though. Except when I’m with small children, but we’ll look at that in a different post. What took some of the appeal off was an eating experience from about 5 years ago, when I was in Missouri on vacation and I went out to meet two girlfriends from high school who I hadn’t seen in a year.

They worked full time. They had, and still have, busy lives. At the time they didn’t have kids, but they did have shopping for the Christmas gift exchange to do, half hour drives to get back home and probably some emails to look through and answer later that evening. Admittedly, I was on vacation.

I left the house for the restaurant at 5:50, and came back at 6:55. My husband was putting on his shoes to go drink a beer with my brother. The first thing he asked was if my friends didn’t show. I told him no, they were there, we ate. I had to leave half a margarita sitting on the table because I’m such a light weight, I didn’t dare slug it down and then drive. He asked if I had fun at least.

Well, I saw my friends for 40 minutes. I think they had fun. I love them dearly even if they couldn’t find much time for me that day. Even so, I could blame them for the short visit, or I could blame the restaurant culture of the US. I’m going to put a little blame on both.

If you are eating out in Switzerland, be prepared to sit and wait.

Maybe it’s not such a unfortunate thing. Sure, you are on a schedule and there are great things to see, but your feet probably hurt, so why not sit for a while?

Be prepared to talk to the other people at the table, and not just for 40 minutes. This should be easy because most people travel with family or other people they really, really like. Traveling with people you don’t like is an unbelievably bad idea.

The server may or may not help you find a table, bring you a menu, or smile, but he or she probably will. If you ask for the menu (as opposed to just having coffee or drinks) you will definitely get cute paper table mats and a menu.DSC00620

Then you will wait.

Then the server will remember you and ask what you’d like to drink and maybe eat. In case you are gluten or lactose intolerant any respectable restaurant will be able to accommodate you; be sure to inform the server. However, there is always the chance that this will get you a blank stare. Find another place to eat, is my suggestion. You can ask for plain water with the meal, but don’t be surprised if you get charged a couple of francs if that is all you request to drink.

Then you will wait.

Then you will get your drinks.

Then you’ll start going through the pictures on your camera and messages on your phone. Then you’ll try to not finish your drinks before the food arrives because there are no free refills. Then you will talk some more with your loved ones, if you are still talking to each other at that point in your trip.

Then the food will finally arrive.DSC00622

Unless you are very unlucky, the food will be quite good, maybe even excellent. Let’s hand it to the Swiss: they think meals should be filling, attractive and tasty (and overpriced, but you can’t have everything).

After you finish, you will wait.

Then much later, the server will come to clear the dishes, ask how it was and if you’d like dessert or coffee.

By now you can guess how this goes—more waiting.

You will have to wave at the server to get his or her attention in order to ask for the bill. They are all adepts at not making eye contact–don’t ask me why. I cannot count the number of times I’ve asked myself, how long would it take for the server to notice if I stand up and leave the restaurant without paying? Ten minutes? Twenty? An hour? By the way, tips are included in the total, but leaving a few extra francs is always a polite gesture.

I would never walk off without paying, of course, because it would be illegal and very unSwiss. I’ve been here too long for such shenanigans, no matter how long it takes for to get noticed in order to pay.

But this is vacation, right? Take the time to do eat like Europeans do. Sit back, talk and enjoy the wait.

DSC00623

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